Tag Archives: Blame

I Blame Babylonians.

1 Jan

Weird, right?

Basically, I blame Babylonians because it is their fault we have New Year’s Resolutions. I’d boo them, but really, I have a lot of things I need to do this year and I need some kind of accountability when I don’t do them. Maybe a blog post about my resolutions will work? Maybe not? Who knows?

How about all of you start hasseling me when I don’t get shit done? Does that work?

new years resolution art print

My way of remembering year round... post them!

So, here it is, my resolutions. In no particular order, of course…

1. Organize my life!

Why is this so damn hard for me? This resolution spans so many things… my home, my office, my home office, my kids, my music collection, my husband, etc. They all need some kind of organization. I say this is the year. I hope.

2. Stop being lazy!

This honestly has nothing to do with working out. I actually do that on a semi-regular basis already (yay me!). This is me, coming home, sitting on the couch and never moving after that, except to go to the bed of course. My resolution is to MOVE! I figure I’ll start slow, keep moving until about 7 p.m., then 7:30 p.m., then 8 p.m. I mean, if I’m gonna get resolution #1 done, I MUST do resolution #2.

3. Kick your business in gear!

Ready for this overall life goal… be self-employed in 5 years. Did I just blow your mind? My little at home design business is just the tip of the iceberg. I think I can make  it sustain, but not without a time investment. Which means I need to #1 organize myself and #2 stop being lazy. See a pattern here? I NEED to hit this life goal. Bad. So this resolution is a start.

4. Give Back More!

I feel like I have been so blessed. I mean, I am by no means rich. At all. But I want to at least start small and start giving back more to causes that deserve it. Luckily, I have a group of friends that agree with this resolution and we are all gonna band our small contributions together to make one large once a month. I may actually feel like those teeny tiny bits I can give will make a difference. But more importantly, I want to teach my son to do this now. To start a culture of giving back in my house. That means putting in some volunteer hours. Eep! But if I stop being lazy (see, all relates back) I know we can find the time.

5. Blame People More Often!

I started this blog with all these amazing ideas, and then I just didn’t post like I thought I would. Well, that’s gonna change this year. WordPress is starting a “Blog a Day” and “Blog a Week” campaign. I think the once a day bit is too extreme for me (I’ve done the once a day thing on my other blog before. It blows). But once a week, I think that might be a bit more manageable! So I am IN! I can do this! I can blame people more often! What a fantastic resolution!

I honestly have a couple more resolutions, but really, they are the same every year. Work out more often then I already do, play more often, love and care for all my relationships more, cause let’s face it? We all need to do these more then we do. And each year we realize we didn’t do them enough.

Stupid Babylonians. Making me realize I’m not doing enough and I could always do more. Making me resolve to be a better person and have a better life.

I blame Babylonians.


I Blame Overshare-ers.

16 Nov

I guess I’ve been dying to blame these people for awhile. Cause I had a post already started to blame them and I didn’t even realize it.

I blame overshare-ers. Why? Multiple reasons.

Lalalalalala... I can't hear you!

First off, they manage to take what is most likely an awkward situation and enhance said awkwardness by 10 fold. Let’s all think… what is the most awkward situation I am put in on a fairly regular basis? The answer, company parties. Whether they be just a cake and punch or the whole staff retreat, they are uncomfortable. Big time.

And there is always that one person that completely overshares. You reach an awkward silence. No one knows what to say then BAM! Oversharing.

It may consist of some one talking about their bowel movements (how often, size, consistency), sex toys or, my personal fave, having babies. Cause that is what I want to do. Talk about things coming out my nether regions while sitting across from my male boss. Fun times, eh? (P.S. I did NOT make these topics up. All have srsly come up at company “get togethers.” :shudder:)

Then there is the anonymous-ness of the internet that makes people overshare even more. And the worst part of this, it’s not normally the disgusting oversharing at this point. It’s the people who do a Facebook update to let everyone know they just woke up, cleaned the house, or (my fave) “hey, I just picked a massive wedgie out of my ass”. I got news for these people.

No. One. Cares. There. I said it.

Well, I take it back. I do care that the Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks is delish. Cause, well, it is.

Overshare-ers both waste my time AND make me feel awkward. It’s not cool. I have plenty of better things I can do in order to waste my time, like watching Youtube videos of cats playing the keyboard. And I don’t like feeling awkward. So stop it. Now.

Please tell me some horrific example of someone oversharing. And then we can say it all together…

I blame overshare-ers.

I Blame School Photographers.

8 Nov

Most photographers, if you take bad pictures, you are out of business. But not the school photographer. Oh no.

I mean, really, who pays photographers to take crappy pictures? All of us. Every year. And if you are super lucky, twice a year.

In fact, a lot of the time, they are praised for their terrible product. In no other job are you allowed to be so hit and miss. I mean, if I only did a good job 50 percent of the time at my work, I’d be fired.

Case in point.

My kids. They are the perfect 50/50 comparison for this blame game.

My daughter is absolute perfection! A 10 out of 10, for sure. Observe.

The Good…

I mean, really, it should be about the economics of it all. If every school picture looked like this, we’d all fork over the $186.59 for the “Super Sonic My Kids are the Best & I Want to Show the World by Plastering it With Pictures” package.

But alas. I chose the “Momma and Daddy are Poor so They Buy Just Enough Pictures to Make Sure They Have  a Good One to Scan and Order Cheaper Prints Online” package. And while I am sad about it in my daughter’s case, I have to say that when it comes to my son, I am pleased with my decision.

Observe. Again.

The Bad...

Yeah. My son clarified that actually this is a really good picture because he kept his eyes open. Clearly, we have different standards, which is probably good, since he’s 5. But for the school photographer to have that same standard, well, I just don’t get it.

And the praise. From everyone. “Oh ha ha ha ha, what a great memory!” or “Well, that is exactly how he looked that day!” Boo. Stop trying to make me feel better for wasting money on some pictures that I barely want to hang in my house. Pictures that will appear in the yearbook.

Don’t even get me started on retakes. They are like a bad version for “Let’s Make a Deal.” I mean, yeah, I have this kind of okay picture I could trade in and go for a winner of a picture. One that blows all other school pictures out of the water. But by trading it in, that curtain may reveal something far, far worse, the zonk aka pictures where my son crosses his eyes or has some kind of reverse faux hawk because they decided to take the picture after recess.

And I am well aware that my version of bad is nothing compared to most. There is plenty of Ugly out there.

All of us have these. Good, bad and ugly. But it’s not your fault.

I blame school photographers.

UPDATE: For those of you saying, “aww, his picture isn’t so bad”, here. How about this one?

Yeah, that’s my kiddo.

I Blame My Mom.

5 Nov

I’m not new to the blogging business. I’ve been doing this for awhile, actually.

I blame my mom. For being awesome. And gorgeous. And having an amazing tan. :jealous:

But it seems like blogs that are very much dedicated to a very narrow audience aren’t really that great for rolling out random rants. I had been using my Facebook for most of my ranting, and my mom went on and on about how good a writer I am. Well, duh. I know this.

And I thought, ya know, maybe I should do a blog with a bit more of a general audience. A blog which gives me a bit more free reign on what I can or can’t post about.

And, more importantly, a blog that won’t embarrass my mom when she reads it. Unlike that other blog. You know the one. And if you don’t, well, then you are on a “need to know” basis with me.

I dub this new piece of work… I Blame People.

It will always be someone’s (and maybe sometime something’s) fault when I write a post. I’ve been passing around a lot of blame for awhile. Jason Segal, Brooke Fraser, this guy named Dan… they’ve all been blamed for something in my little world.

Plus, I like it. It’s catchy. And it gives me a great ending line to every blog I post. You’ll see in 3…2…1…

I blame my mom.