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I Blame School Photographers.

8 Nov

Most photographers, if you take bad pictures, you are out of business. But not the school photographer. Oh no.

I mean, really, who pays photographers to take crappy pictures? All of us. Every year. And if you are super lucky, twice a year.

In fact, a lot of the time, they are praised for their terrible product. In no other job are you allowed to be so hit and miss. I mean, if I only did a good job 50 percent of the time at my work, I’d be fired.

Case in point.

My kids. They are the perfect 50/50 comparison for this blame game.

My daughter is absolute perfection! A 10 out of 10, for sure. Observe.

The Good…

I mean, really, it should be about the economics of it all. If every school picture looked like this, we’d all fork over the $186.59 for the “Super Sonic My Kids are the Best & I Want to Show the World by Plastering it With Pictures” package.

But alas. I chose the “Momma and Daddy are Poor so They Buy Just Enough Pictures to Make Sure They Have  a Good One to Scan and Order Cheaper Prints Online” package. And while I am sad about it in my daughter’s case, I have to say that when it comes to my son, I am pleased with my decision.

Observe. Again.

The Bad...

Yeah. My son clarified that actually this is a really good picture because he kept his eyes open. Clearly, we have different standards, which is probably good, since he’s 5. But for the school photographer to have that same standard, well, I just don’t get it.

And the praise. From everyone. “Oh ha ha ha ha, what a great memory!” or “Well, that is exactly how he looked that day!” Boo. Stop trying to make me feel better for wasting money on some pictures that I barely want to hang in my house. Pictures that will appear in the yearbook.

Don’t even get me started on retakes. They are like a bad version for “Let’s Make a Deal.” I mean, yeah, I have this kind of okay picture I could trade in and go for a winner of a picture. One that blows all other school pictures out of the water. But by trading it in, that curtain may reveal something far, far worse, the zonk aka pictures where my son crosses his eyes or has some kind of reverse faux hawk because they decided to take the picture after recess.

And I am well aware that my version of bad is nothing compared to most. There is plenty of Ugly out there.

All of us have these. Good, bad and ugly. But it’s not your fault.

I blame school photographers.

UPDATE: For those of you saying, “aww, his picture isn’t so bad”, here. How about this one?

Yeah, that’s my kiddo.