I Blame Freebie Bitchers.

1 Mar

Gimme my free stuff!! GRRRR!

As I write this, I’m sitting in a movie theater for a free screening of Rango. We got free tickets that specifically said, in a much more eloquent way, “Look. This shizz is free. So we invite a lot of peeps cause half of you won’t show. But just on case, you best get here early for yo’ seat.”

I get that. That’s why me and Joey were here an hour and a half before start time. That’s why we waited patiently in line and were nice and respectful to the staff. Cause it’s free, and they are doing me a favor by letting me see the movie early. Common sense, right?

Apparently not. See, there are people who can’t just get something for free and enjoy it for what it is. Oh no. They always find a way to bitch. I like to call then freebie bitchers. (I should really copyright that.)

“Why do I have to wait in line?”

“My seat is terrible.”

“Why can’t me and my 10 kids sit in the press row??”

“I know the movie starts in 5 minutes, but how can there possibly be no seat for me??”

Really people? Really?

I’m sitting here and watching these people in full action. The attitude. The snide comments. The bitch faces at the staff. Since when the hell are you so entitled? And now, you are ruining my movie going experience cause you are acting like a bunch of douches.

Oh wait. No your not. Cause this movie is free and I’m enjoying it regardless… cause it’s FREE.

Okay, I’m lying just a little bit. I’m still annoyed.

I blame freebie bitchers.

P.S. Rango ain’t too bad. Good for adults and kiddos alike!


I Blame Babylonians.

1 Jan

Weird, right?

Basically, I blame Babylonians because it is their fault we have New Year’s Resolutions. I’d boo them, but really, I have a lot of things I need to do this year and I need some kind of accountability when I don’t do them. Maybe a blog post about my resolutions will work? Maybe not? Who knows?

How about all of you start hasseling me when I don’t get shit done? Does that work?

new years resolution art print

My way of remembering year round... post them!

So, here it is, my resolutions. In no particular order, of course…

1. Organize my life!

Why is this so damn hard for me? This resolution spans so many things… my home, my office, my home office, my kids, my music collection, my husband, etc. They all need some kind of organization. I say this is the year. I hope.

2. Stop being lazy!

This honestly has nothing to do with working out. I actually do that on a semi-regular basis already (yay me!). This is me, coming home, sitting on the couch and never moving after that, except to go to the bed of course. My resolution is to MOVE! I figure I’ll start slow, keep moving until about 7 p.m., then 7:30 p.m., then 8 p.m. I mean, if I’m gonna get resolution #1 done, I MUST do resolution #2.

3. Kick your business in gear!

Ready for this overall life goal… be self-employed in 5 years. Did I just blow your mind? My little at home design business is just the tip of the iceberg. I think I can make  it sustain, but not without a time investment. Which means I need to #1 organize myself and #2 stop being lazy. See a pattern here? I NEED to hit this life goal. Bad. So this resolution is a start.

4. Give Back More!

I feel like I have been so blessed. I mean, I am by no means rich. At all. But I want to at least start small and start giving back more to causes that deserve it. Luckily, I have a group of friends that agree with this resolution and we are all gonna band our small contributions together to make one large once a month. I may actually feel like those teeny tiny bits I can give will make a difference. But more importantly, I want to teach my son to do this now. To start a culture of giving back in my house. That means putting in some volunteer hours. Eep! But if I stop being lazy (see, all relates back) I know we can find the time.

5. Blame People More Often!

I started this blog with all these amazing ideas, and then I just didn’t post like I thought I would. Well, that’s gonna change this year. WordPress is starting a “Blog a Day” and “Blog a Week” campaign. I think the once a day bit is too extreme for me (I’ve done the once a day thing on my other blog before. It blows). But once a week, I think that might be a bit more manageable! So I am IN! I can do this! I can blame people more often! What a fantastic resolution!

I honestly have a couple more resolutions, but really, they are the same every year. Work out more often then I already do, play more often, love and care for all my relationships more, cause let’s face it? We all need to do these more then we do. And each year we realize we didn’t do them enough.

Stupid Babylonians. Making me realize I’m not doing enough and I could always do more. Making me resolve to be a better person and have a better life.

I blame Babylonians.

I Blame People Who Don’t Understand the College Football Bowl System/BCS

7 Dec

Yes, I took a break. So what? I had no one to blame. No worries though, cause I got a large group of people now.

It’s almost winter and we are about to start my favorite time of year… the college football bowl season. Yes, I am a girl. Yes, I love football. And yes, my team of choice is the Oklahoma Sooners.

The BCS... I support it.

And EVERYTIME the bowl season get’s ready to kick off, people have to go and rain on my parade. And personally, I’m kind of tired of it.

I blame all the people who don’t understand the college football bowl system/Bowl Championship Series (BCS).

First off, let me say this. I don’t fully understand the system myself. But I do understand that the arguments most people are making this year are completely refutibal and easily explained away. I’ll take the two most common trains of thought from these people.

This is my hands down fave comment at this time of the year…

We should have a playoff system.

No. Sorry. It’s never gonna happen. And yes, it’s because of the money.

See, we have put college athletic programs (specifically division 1 or whatever they hell they are calling it now) in an awkward situation. We expect these schools to pay for their entire athletic departments solely from money they make on athletics. No one (and that includes those whiny playoff people) wants schools to use tax payer monies that could pay for classrooms, professors and other academic stuff to buy cups for all the male athletes. Especially in these times of budget deficits and massive cuts across the board for all government programs, including higher education.

The BCS helps contribute money back the the colleges athletic programs. Oh, and keep in mind that for most schools, only football and men’s basketball typically operate in the black. Every other sport normally runs in the red. That mean’s that the money that goes to the conference for a team that plays in a BCS game goes right back towards paying for other sports. Like, say, all the women’s sports.

So while a playoff system seems like a good idea for competition and getting to the point of having an undisputed national champion, it just won’t work for division 1 football. So get over it. It ain’t gonna happen. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

As long as we have these sort of exceptions on our college athletic programs, every decision will be about money. From conference realignments to coaching changes to the BCS. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles my friends.

I will add this very quickly. The BCS isn’t perfect. It’s system that needs constant incremental improvement, but I think this year is one of the closest years we’ve had to getting it right.

And my other fave comment…

There are too many bowl games.

So. What.

It's all about the dough-re-me baby!

Yeah, maybe I’m not gonna be pulling my chair up this year and watching the New Era Pinstripe Bowl. But does that mean that Kansas State and Syracuse don’t deserve their chance to play in this game? Absolutely not.

Why shouldn’t as many college football teams as possible have an opportunity to have a post season game? How does that hurt anyone? In fact, it’d probably be more hurtful if you cancelled half the bowls (which is what I have seen some propose). Think of the economic impact the towns that host these bowls get for that week before the game. Think of all that discretionary income that goes to support local businesses, hotel taxes that help pay for city services, and the list goes on and on and on.

Towns thrive on these sorts of things. Why deny them?

Plus, what if your team had a bad year but still managed to pull out the six wins? Would you want that season to end in November, or have that one last hoorah before the season is called quits? C’mon people. Bowl games are a good thing for everyone!

But no. Every year everyone has to bitch about the BCS and the bowls. And I am sick of you ruining my happy times about OU making it to the Fiesta Bowl.  And bowl season in general.

I blame  people who don’t understand the college football bowl system/BCS.

I Blame Overshare-ers.

16 Nov

I guess I’ve been dying to blame these people for awhile. Cause I had a post already started to blame them and I didn’t even realize it.

I blame overshare-ers. Why? Multiple reasons.

Lalalalalala... I can't hear you!

First off, they manage to take what is most likely an awkward situation and enhance said awkwardness by 10 fold. Let’s all think… what is the most awkward situation I am put in on a fairly regular basis? The answer, company parties. Whether they be just a cake and punch or the whole staff retreat, they are uncomfortable. Big time.

And there is always that one person that completely overshares. You reach an awkward silence. No one knows what to say then BAM! Oversharing.

It may consist of some one talking about their bowel movements (how often, size, consistency), sex toys or, my personal fave, having babies. Cause that is what I want to do. Talk about things coming out my nether regions while sitting across from my male boss. Fun times, eh? (P.S. I did NOT make these topics up. All have srsly come up at company “get togethers.” :shudder:)

Then there is the anonymous-ness of the internet that makes people overshare even more. And the worst part of this, it’s not normally the disgusting oversharing at this point. It’s the people who do a Facebook update to let everyone know they just woke up, cleaned the house, or (my fave) “hey, I just picked a massive wedgie out of my ass”. I got news for these people.

No. One. Cares. There. I said it.

Well, I take it back. I do care that the Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks is delish. Cause, well, it is.

Overshare-ers both waste my time AND make me feel awkward. It’s not cool. I have plenty of better things I can do in order to waste my time, like watching Youtube videos of cats playing the keyboard. And I don’t like feeling awkward. So stop it. Now.

Please tell me some horrific example of someone oversharing. And then we can say it all together…

I blame overshare-ers.

I Blame School Photographers.

8 Nov

Most photographers, if you take bad pictures, you are out of business. But not the school photographer. Oh no.

I mean, really, who pays photographers to take crappy pictures? All of us. Every year. And if you are super lucky, twice a year.

In fact, a lot of the time, they are praised for their terrible product. In no other job are you allowed to be so hit and miss. I mean, if I only did a good job 50 percent of the time at my work, I’d be fired.

Case in point.

My kids. They are the perfect 50/50 comparison for this blame game.

My daughter is absolute perfection! A 10 out of 10, for sure. Observe.

The Good…

I mean, really, it should be about the economics of it all. If every school picture looked like this, we’d all fork over the $186.59 for the “Super Sonic My Kids are the Best & I Want to Show the World by Plastering it With Pictures” package.

But alas. I chose the “Momma and Daddy are Poor so They Buy Just Enough Pictures to Make Sure They Have  a Good One to Scan and Order Cheaper Prints Online” package. And while I am sad about it in my daughter’s case, I have to say that when it comes to my son, I am pleased with my decision.

Observe. Again.

The Bad...

Yeah. My son clarified that actually this is a really good picture because he kept his eyes open. Clearly, we have different standards, which is probably good, since he’s 5. But for the school photographer to have that same standard, well, I just don’t get it.

And the praise. From everyone. “Oh ha ha ha ha, what a great memory!” or “Well, that is exactly how he looked that day!” Boo. Stop trying to make me feel better for wasting money on some pictures that I barely want to hang in my house. Pictures that will appear in the yearbook.

Don’t even get me started on retakes. They are like a bad version for “Let’s Make a Deal.” I mean, yeah, I have this kind of okay picture I could trade in and go for a winner of a picture. One that blows all other school pictures out of the water. But by trading it in, that curtain may reveal something far, far worse, the zonk aka pictures where my son crosses his eyes or has some kind of reverse faux hawk because they decided to take the picture after recess.

And I am well aware that my version of bad is nothing compared to most. There is plenty of Ugly out there.

All of us have these. Good, bad and ugly. But it’s not your fault.

I blame school photographers.

UPDATE: For those of you saying, “aww, his picture isn’t so bad”, here. How about this one?

Yeah, that’s my kiddo.

I Blame My Mom.

5 Nov

I’m not new to the blogging business. I’ve been doing this for awhile, actually.

I blame my mom. For being awesome. And gorgeous. And having an amazing tan. :jealous:

But it seems like blogs that are very much dedicated to a very narrow audience aren’t really that great for rolling out random rants. I had been using my Facebook for most of my ranting, and my mom went on and on about how good a writer I am. Well, duh. I know this.

And I thought, ya know, maybe I should do a blog with a bit more of a general audience. A blog which gives me a bit more free reign on what I can or can’t post about.

And, more importantly, a blog that won’t embarrass my mom when she reads it. Unlike that other blog. You know the one. And if you don’t, well, then you are on a “need to know” basis with me.

I dub this new piece of work… I Blame People.

It will always be someone’s (and maybe sometime something’s) fault when I write a post. I’ve been passing around a lot of blame for awhile. Jason Segal, Brooke Fraser, this guy named Dan… they’ve all been blamed for something in my little world.

Plus, I like it. It’s catchy. And it gives me a great ending line to every blog I post. You’ll see in 3…2…1…

I blame my mom.